MOTHER’S DAY BLOG BY A DAD

Before I begin, I need to say that this Mother’s Day blog entry is primarily for the men. Somebody I knew once said that the way you treat your mother today is the way you’ll end up treating your wife when you get married. I want you to let that sink in because, for the most part, I now believe it’s true. Now take note, I’m talking about when you were still single and living under your mom’s roof. How you treat your mother after you get married doesn’t count because our tendency is we develop a whole new level of respect for them when we have our wives. Living alone and raising a family all of a sudden opens up our eyes to the difficulty they encountered, and we suddenly appreciate them. But how was it when you were living under your mom’s rules and instruction? What did you think of her hard work back then? How did you react to her when she had to correct you or when she told you what to do or when she wanted to just sit and talk with you? Did you married men just make a quick comparison? Has it sunk in yet? Not married yet? Good. Now go and appreciate your mom because this is training for your future wife.

Now if you’re married with kids, then of course your wife counts as a celebrant for Mother’s day as well. What does that mean? Any responsible mother will take it upon herself to provide your offspring with the best care her physical body can give short of killing herself while trying to oversee the maintenance of the house you live in. She doesn’t get paid to do this, but it doesn’t make it any less vital to your life as a husband and father. That’s what your wife is doing as a mother. Our tendency as men is to overlook this because, in our own minds, we do our share. We go out, work hard, bring home the bacon, and make sure that the bills get paid so that makes it even right? Did you just nod? Oh I hope you didn’t. Because it’s this kind of thinking that will begin to tear a marriage apart. When one side feels that they are entitled to certain rights (like the right to be a couch potato after work) because of what they think they do, then the failure to appreciate and resentment at not receiving appreciation ensues. You eventually begin to seek that appreciation outside and if found from another source you begin to prefer that person and the marriage is jeopardized. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The bottom line is, we often fail to appreciate the work our wives do as mothers because we’re too busy making sure to fulfil our own list of duties. I’m sorry guys, but you do not get credit for doing what you’re supposed to do. The company already gives you that by paying you money. Appreciating your wife is going to take an extra step and it isn’t even a very big one so don’t whine. Sometimes it’s just a simple thank you, a bar of chocolate, a night of doing your own dishes or just several text messages saying that you love her. A little bit here and there won’t kill you. Now our wives are not going to remind us to appreciate them so it’s up to us to remember, and Mother’s Day is not the chance to make up for the other 364 days you missed. It’s a chance for everybody to appreciate all moms everywhere. You get that chance to appreciate the ones in your life every single day.

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Gabe Gabriel is husband to Diane and daddy to Raph and Nate.